


Chemical Reaction

by skihale



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Christmas, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:09:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8965288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skihale/pseuds/skihale
Summary: Kenma has always depended on Kuroo to keep him afloat. Kuroo doesn't need anything in return, except for perhaps Kenma's love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa, @cookieteller! 
> 
> This gift includes an angsty little KuroKen story along with a playlist of music that goes along with it! :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and that you’re having a wonderful holiday~

_I'll pray that one day you see  
_

_The only difference between life and dying_

_Is one is trying, that's all we're going to do_

_So try to love me and I'll try to save you._

Lovely | Twenty One Pilots

* * *

Steam poured out of the bathroom as Kenma walked onto the hardwood floor in the hallway. It was cold beneath his feet and he scurried back to the bedroom where he had left their space heater running dutifully. He slipped inside quickly so that the building warmth wouldn’t escape into the rest of the apartment.

A sigh of relief fell from his lips as he pulled on his comfortable clothes, nothing more than a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt. He was only afforded this luxury when he was home and away from the prying eyes of the outside world; except for Kuroo that was. Kenma had long since stopped feeling anxious over whether he was properly dressed in front of his boyfriend.

Years of being childhood friends and several more living together after University saw to that. Kenma had always been an anxious person and while Kuroo had his moments of making him a nervous wreck, they were far and few between these days. It was something Kenma was grateful for.

* * *

Checking the clock, Kenma noted that he still had an hour or so before Kuroo would get home. Kenma considered the canvas waiting to be filled with paint, only two rooms down the hall, and scrunched his nose at the thought. He had some spare time to work on his latest commission, but he was tired and it was cold in his office. If he wanted to work he’d have to take the space heater with him.

He glanced at the heater in question, small enough to carry and plugged into the wall taking up one of only four electric outlets in the room. Kenma could feel the tightness beginning to settle in his chest and he rubbed there gently. The commission could wait until the morning. After all, it wasn’t due for another month. His stomach growled as he was getting ready to lay down and he sighed. There was still dinner to consider. Kuroo would be hungry when he arrived too, having spent an entire day at his extended University classes.

He pulled on his robe and comfy slippers to help stave off the cold before quickly leaving the bedroom. By the time he walked into the kitchen, the warmth he had gathered was sapped from him, leaving shivers wracking up his spine. Kenma grimaced as he looked through the pantry and then the fridge.

There were enough ingredients to make several easy dishes, including omelette rice. However, by the time Kuroo got home his food would be ice cold and Kenma really didn’t want to have to trek out into the freezing apartment all over again. Kenma looked over the fridge shelves one last time before taking an individual bottle of apple juice and closing the door.

He rushed back to the bedroom as he opened the juice, taking a sip as he shut the bedroom door behind him once more. They didn’t have a lot of money saved up, but Kuroo could probably grab them something cheap to eat on the way home. Kenma sent a text to his boyfriend requesting as much, before unplugging his handheld from the second outlet, deciding to spend his evening beating the next level on his game.

Kenma nodded to himself and settled down to try to beat the next stubborn level.

“Kenma?” The call of his name came floating through the bedroom door and Kenma blinked slowly before looking up from his game screen in time to see Kuroo pop his head in with a grin.

“Close the door the heat will get out,” Kenma said shortly, before going back to his game. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but the sun had finished setting and he still hadn’t beaten his level. Kuroo snorted as he stepped fully inside, carrying two plates of food and a couple drinks on a tray.

“Yes, monsieur feline. I come bearing an offering of food,” Kuroo said with a smirk as he sank down to sit next to Kenma on their bed. End of game music chimed as the motion caused Kenma’s finger to slip and he sighed, but set the game aside to take his plate of food.

His eyes lit up at the slice of apple pie but scowled when Kuroo tapped the edge of the plate nearest the fried rice. The message was familiar and very clear - eat your food first - so Kenma regretfully dug into his rice with a soft, “Itadakimasu.”

Kuroo gave a pleased hum, before digging in himself. They ate in a comfortable silence and once Kenma had finished his rice, he took the first bite of his pie with a small happy smile. Kuroo chuckled at the look on his face.

Kenma raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend, before realizing that Kuroo only had rice on his plate. “You didn’t get yourself one?” Kenma asked before taking another bite, sighing softly at the familiar mix of apples and cinnamon.

“I wasn’t in the mood for sweets tonight,” Kuroo said simply, before his smirk widened, “Unless that means you.” He waggled his eyebrows at Kenma’s unimpressed look.

“It’s too cold,” Kenma said, accepting Kuroo’s explanation with one of his own and polishing off his pie.

Kuroo’s look softened into something akin to fond as he collected Kenma’s empty plate, stacking them on the tray and laying back on the bed. He opened his arms and smiled, “I’ll warm you up then.”

Kenma took another drink of his juice before grabbing his handheld and allowing himself to be wrapped up in Kuroo’s arms. Kuroo’s chin tucked over his shoulder as he pressed start. The game music played alongside the sound of the running space heater and Kenma found himself amused, for Kuroo was his own personal space heater.

Time ticked by as he played his game, Kuroo’s commentary soon giving way to snoring as he fell asleep, exhausted from the day's hectic schedule of work and classes. Kenma played on until victory music rose from the little device and he gave a nod of triumph. Kuroo groaned at the motion, shifting enough that Kenma was able to free himself from the tangle of limbs.

He stood from the bed to make a bathroom run, only noticing the tray of plates on his way out the door. Backtracking he grabbed the tray to return to the kitchen, so that it would be out of Kuroo’s way come morning. As he entered the kitchen, Kenma’s eyebrows rose at the sight that met him.

A used pan, still faintly warm, sat on the stove and spices lay across the counter. The soy sauce sat out instead of in the fridge where it belonged and Kenma heaved a sigh. Kuroo hadn’t just gotten them something from the corner store. He had cooked them dinner.

The thought made the back of Kenma’s neck erupt in tingles as a sick feeling rose up his throat. He took a moment to set the dishes and pan in the sink, before putting up the spices and soy sauce before he remembered he needed to use the restroom. After finishing his business he began making his way back to the kitchen, intent on washing up so that Kuroo could wake up to it being clean.

At the sight of the sink however, Kenma wrinkled his nose. Kuroo honestly wouldn’t mind if the sink was full for a few hours until Kenma could wash them up tomorrow. Making his decision, Kenma scrawled a note and left it next to the sink before heading back to bed. He still had an hour to beat the next level of his game before he too would go to bed.

* * *

Kenma rolled out of bed the next morning with a displeased moan, staggering to his feet and putting on his slippers. He was leaving the bathroom when he finally realized that he had put them on the wrong feet. He switched them out with a roll of his eyes, grimacing again at the cold floor and wondering why they had chosen an apartment in Tokyo rather than moving somewhere in southern Japan when he graduated.

Kuroo’s face flashed before his eyes and he sighed; that’s right, they stayed in Tokyo to allow Kuroo to pursue a career as a chemist. Kenma shook his head of the thought as he filled a mug with water and put it in the microwave to heat instead of putting on a kettle. He leaned against the counter as the microwave whirred to life, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

If they had moved further south, Kenma would have had a difficult time getting his career as a painter off the ground as well. They would just have to face the cold winters together, as much as the thought made him shiver. He put some milk and a couple sugars in his tea before making his way into his office, taking a sip before going to retrieve the space heater.

He never noticed that the sink was empty.

* * *

“We should go out to dinner to celebrate!” Kuroo said in his excitement, welcoming Kenma home from dropping off the commission he had just finished and getting his paycheck.

Kenma sighed at the suggestion, tired from the couple hours he had spent traveling to and with the customer. He had just finished removing his boots too. The lack of enthusiasm must have caught Kuroo’s attention because he smiled softly, coming forward and pushing some hair out of Kenma’s eyes.

“We could just have something here instead, celebrate with an evening in.” The offer sounded like heaven and despite the look of hope in Kuroo’s eyes, Kenma accepted with a nod. Kuroo’s brightness didn’t dim, but Kenma could see an unfamiliar glint to his eyes.

“We can order mackerel from that restaurant nearby,” Kenma offered and when Kuroo’s look fell further he remembered, “Sorry, I forgot they don’t deliver.” He rolled his shoulders when they began to feel sore, like he had just played an intense volleyball match. There was half a thought to just take Kuroo to the restaurant, but the idea of being around so many people made his head reel.

Before he could force the offer out, Kuroo was leading him to the bedroom where the space heater was already running and putting his handheld in his hands. “Don’t worry about it Kenma, I’ll call us in some curry from down the street and I’ll even add in some apple pie,” Kuroo said gently, handing Kenma some more comfortable clothes before grabbing his phone. “I’ll bring in the food when it gets here.”

After being graced with one last smile, Kenma was left alone as Kuroo shut the bedroom door behind him and a rush of relief flushed through his body. Kuroo was always okay with doing whatever made Kenma the most comfortable and Kenma rubbed his temples at the reminder. Sometimes Kenma didn’t think he was deserving of Kuroo’s attention and time, especially when Kuroo was unhappy with a decision; even if he didn’t say it.

The idea made Kenma feel nauseous and he laid out on the bed, breathing deeply and trying to think of the last time that Kenma had gone out of his way for something that Kuroo wanted. When a time didn’t automatically come to mind, Kenma felt the muscles in his abdomen tighten with the flood of anxiety that hit him like a tidal wave. He curled up on his side and covered his face with a pillow, hoping that the panic attack would pass before Kuroo returned.

It didn’t.

* * *

Kenma leaned back into the fluffy couch, feet tucked up underneath his legs as he took a calming sip of his tea. There was a low chatter of other customers in the coffee shop, but he was lucky to have claimed his favorite spot with the help of Hinata. They sat together in the back of the shop, beside a warm fire and a large window with a view out into the park next door. This was one of his safe spaces.

He took another sip of his drink before he chanced a glance at his friend, who was watching him with a small smile and serious eyes. They didn’t normally meet here, not unless something was bothering Kenma. Something that he couldn’t speak to Kuroo about. So, Hinata waited with that same comforting smile.

It was a smile that promised no judgement and advice if Hinata had any. Despite that, Kenma still felt the blood rush through his ears. He forced himself to ignore it as he sighed, “I haven’t been able to give Kuroo what he wants.”  
  
Hinata didn’t say anything, taking a bite of his croissant instead and humming in acknowledgement.  
  
“There are things that he wants. To leave the house some days, to go on dates like we used to,” Kenma said contemplatively, “He wants to celebrate when we accomplish our goals.” He traveled off, sliding his fingers up and down the side of his mug; reveling in the warmth in provided. “I also can’t seem to be able to motivate myself to do anything.”

Hinata paused his eating to mumble, “How do you mean?”

Kenma bit his lip as he considered his answer, “I’ll think to do things. Like making dinner or cleaning up, or even working on a project or commission, and I always convince myself that I’ll do it later. But when later comes around, Kuroo has already done it.” Hinata rose an eyebrow and Kenma sighed, “Not the commission's, obviously, but everything else. The cooking and cleaning and housework.”

There was a momentary look of thought on Hinata’s face before he asked, “Doesn’t Kuroo go to classes all week and work at the botanical shop near your apartment? That has to be what, over sixty hours a week together?”

Kenma nodded, “He’s also working as a TA in the Science Department at the University two days a week.” Hinata’s eyebrows climbed further up his forehead and nearly disappeared under his fringe.

“So, that’s almost seventy hours.” He said with those wide intimidating eyes that Kenma remembered from their high school days, “He’s doing all that and still coming home and doing all the housework?” The way that Hinata said it, intentionally or not, had guilt rising in Kenma in strong heavy waves. Hinata recognized the expression and reaching out to pat Kenma’s shoulder soothingly. “I didn’t mean for that to sound like you’re a terrible person for not helping, so please don’t think that.” He said softly.

Kenma took a deep breath to calm his sudden vertigo, “But I am though, right? Kuroo is working so hard and I can’t even wash the dishes.”  
  
Hinata shook his head as he scooted closer, taking Kenma’s hand and squeezing gently. “You are not a terrible person. You work too. You have commission’s lined up for the next year and a half, and that isn’t easy work. Kuroo gets to leave his work at, well, work. Your’s is right there in your apartment. Of course you are busy too. But…”

As Hinata trailed off Kenma looked up at him sharply. “There’s something wrong with me that I can’t do dishes.” He said bluntly and Hinata’s eyes flashed with upset, “I’m sorry I don’t mean to say those things.”

“I know you don’t,” Hinata said disheartenedly. There was a pause, the sound of the shop rushing back to them for only a moment before Hinata continued, “Have you been taking your medicine regularly?”

Kenma’s thoughts went blank at the question. His medicine. When was the last time he had taken his medicine. That morning surely? The darkness in the corners of his mind crept upon him, further and further until he was placing his head between his knees and heaving in breath after breath. Hinata was rubbing his back, but he barely felt it. Nor did he hear Hinata’s comforting words to just breathe, it can’t last more than twenty minutes.

When the storm calmed, Kenma was wrapped in Hinata’s arms and he pushed himself away feeling too hot. “It has to have been months,” Kenma said lowly, rubbing at the headache raging behind his eyes, “I can’t remember the last time I went to the clinic either. Kuroo usually reminds me to take them. This is why I’ve not been able to function properly.”

Hinata sat back at arm's length, “The medication isn’t a miracle drug, Kenma. But yes, it helps you to have better days than you would have otherwise. Can you remember why you stopped taking them?”

“I think I was busy with my latest commission,” Kenma said in thought, “Kuroo and I barely saw each other. We even ate separately most days because I would be up late and he’d be gone early.”

“Then, we go to the clinic and have all this sorted out.” Hinata said, pulling Kenma’s phone from his bag and finding the number in his contacts, “Call and see if you can come in today, or make the earliest appointment available.”  
  
As the phone rang, Kenma felt sick as he stared at Hinata, “I have to make this up to Kuroo, Shouyou. I’ve let myself become a burden to him, I have to make it up to him.”

Hinata rubbed his back soothingly once more. “We’ll worry about that after we’ve gotten you settled again. But Kenma,” He said with with a soft warning tone, “We have to tell him.”

Kenma greeted the secretary when the line picked up, unable to answer Hinata’s statement; but his friend was right. He sighed, hoping that Kuroo would be able to find it in his heart to forgive him.

* * *

It had been an easy conversation with Kuroo. Easier than Kenma thought it should have been. He screwed up, but Kuroo was as comforting as always. With those warm smiles and fond looks, those loving glances that warmed Kenma up from the inside out; making him malleable and pliant.

Kuroo explained that he knew that Kenma’s depression and anxiety were part of the package that came with loving him. He knew that there would be rough patches and that he was there to take care of things when those moments came around, no matter how frequent. Kenma still felt upset that Kuroo would have to go out of his way to take care of him, but Kuroo was adamant that he wasn’t upset and Kenma shouldn’t be either.

“Life is full of terrible things, but what we have is not one of them. Together we brighten the darkness that would normally reside within us. We make each other better and happier.” Kuroo had said with such honesty that Kenma had felt the need to cry. So, cry he did as Kuroo held him close.  
  
Still, after their conversation, Kenma vowed to do better. He wanted to do his absolute best to help Kuroo, even if it was something as small as the dishes. He wanted to make it up to him. Kuroo was his everything. He had to make it up to him.

* * *

A couple weeks had passed as Kenma became a little more stable with each day that went by. He regularly went to the clinic for his check-in’s and set a timer to remind him to take his medicine each day. When Kuroo arrived home, most nights at least, dinner would be waiting on the counter. Sometimes Kenma would have to order out when he couldn’t force himself to cook, but that was alright.

Kenma still found Kuroo cleaning up something that he missed sometimes, but he felt better in general that he was able to help at all. Everything was running more smoothly. He was getting his commission’s finished at a steady pace and he was helping around the house. His world was righting itself once more.

On some days however, it still didn’t feel like it was enough.

It was on one of these days, when Kenma walked in to find Kuroo washing that weeks laundry, that he had the idea. He didn’t try to make Kuroo stop, instead placing a kiss on his cheek in thanks and leaving him behind smiling. “What was that for?” Kuroo asked after him, cheeks flushed despite his grin.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kenma mumbled in reply before he disappeared into the office, shutting the door on Kuroo’s amused gaze.

“Sure, sure,” He called through the door and Kenma smiled softly as he flicked on the light so he could see to gather his sketchbook and pencils. They were lying where he had left them, on the floor next to the window.

He settled down on the small futon there, cuddling up underneath a thick blanket to shield himself from the cold. His fingers ached as he began sketching madly, plotting down the idea in his mindseye. Shivers wracked up his spine as the pencil flew, mark after mark until Kenma was hiding a smile behind his hand.  
  
This would be perfect.

* * *

“Come on, Kenma! It’s time to open presents.” Kuroo called from the living room and Kenma walked over with two cups of hot chocolate. After a day filled with lazing about and going out to dinner for mackerel, it was finally Christmas eve. Growing up, Kenma had never celebrated the holiday; but Kuroo had.

When they had met as children, Kuroo would always get Kenma a present and Kenma would always forget to return the favor. Kuroo never seemed to mind though, perfectly content to see Kenma’s face light up at a new game or box of markers. Eventually, Kenma started being invited over for Christmas.

He remembered the first time he received a present from Santa on Christmas morning. It was almost whimsical as he opened the box to find a brand-new pair of volleyball shoes and looked up into Kuroo’s shining eyes to find that he had received a matching pair. Later he had asked why Kuroo’s mother pretended to be an old-man in a red suit, only to find out that Kuroo truly believed that Santa existed.

It was their first fight, but it was also the last time Kenma dared to question Kuroo’s beliefs from his own. There had been no harm believing in Santa, just as there was no harm believing in each other. Even now that they were older, they exchanged gifts on Christmas eve and went to bed early so that Santa would come.  
  
Kenma knew that Kuroo forced himself to stay awake until Kenma fell asleep to sneak a couple presents under the tree. He also knew that Kuroo was aware that Kenma forced himself to get up early to set his own gifts beside them. The spirit of Christmas and Santa besides, Kenma was very fond of their tradition.

When he approached, Kenma allowed Kuroo to pull him down on his lap in front of their Christmas tree. It was just a small thing with a simple strand of colored lights, with no ornaments or garland. They had been lazy this year, Kenma would admit, but it was still a pretty sight to see.

Kuroo took a sip of his cocoa before setting it aside and handing Kenma the first of the three boxes in red paper. It was small, fitting in the palm of his hand. “This is last,” He mumbled against Kenma’s shoulder. Kenma nodded, laying the box in his lap and allowing Kuroo to hand him the second.

It was about the size of a shoe box and Kenma wondered, but when he shook it there was no shuffling sound. “What is it?” He asked softly, dragging a nail under the tape to pull the paper off as cleanly as possible for less mess.  
  
“Just open it,” Kuroo chuckled and Kenma sighed as he opened the cardboard box within. He was greeted by styrofoam and pulled the clunk of it out, careful not break it. When he pulled away the outer shell, Kenma smiled softly.

It was two small silver bowls, with Kitten written in the bottoms. There were little paw prints around the edges and Kenma gave a snort of affection. “What is with all the cat themed things?” Kenma asked, referring to the cabinet of cat themed dishes in their kitchen, “Thank you.”

“Hmmhmm, my turn right? Gimme,” Kuroo made grabby hands from where they were wrapped around Kenma’s waist and Kenma gave a startled laugh, ticklish from where the fingers brushed his sides, “Oh, sorry!” Then, he fluttered his fingers there again just to hear Kenma squeal.  
  
“Stop! Or I’ll take it back,” Kenma giggled around his words, grabbing the first of Kuroo’s gifts wrapped in silver. Kuroo immediately halted his tickling fingers and straightened up at the threat, though an amused smile still graced his lips.  
  
Kuroo took the oddly shaped present and tore the paper off, getting little bits of paper everywhere much to Kenma’s chagrin. A gasp of delight fell upon Kenma’s ear as Kuroo caught sight of the golden terrarium, empty but gleaming in the light of the tree. “Are you serious?” He asked excitedly and Kenma hid a smile behind his hand.  
  
“There are only two gifts under the tree, because we’ll go to the shop where you work so that you can pick out your own plants,” Kenma explained and Kuroo gave a little happy noise in response, “I know that you’ve been talking about bringing home some of your plant babies for a while.”

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,” He muttered between short kisses to the back of Kenma’s shoulder, “I love it.” The next present was pressed into Kenma’s hands, almost flat but rectangular.  
  
Kenma had to hold back an excited sigh when he opened the paper to find new watercolor paints. He had to turn down three commissions due to lack of certain colors recently and had complained about it. “Thank you,” He turned and pressed a soft kiss to Kuroo’s chin.

“No problem,” Kuroo smirked, “Anything to bring in that rent money.” Kenma snorted and elbowed him in the stomach, getting a laugh for his efforts.  
  
“I want you to open this last,” Kenma said, suddenly anxious at the sight of the long cylinder tube wrapped to look like a piece of candy, “Can I go ahead and open this?”  
  
Kuroo gave a hum of consideration that contradicted the excited gleam in his eyes, “I suppose, but is it a baseball bat?”  
  
Kenma chuckled as he picked up the small box, “Why would I get you a baseball bat?” He tore open the paper as Kuroo gave an offended grunt.  
  
“So that we could swing it out at the batting cages of course!” He said as he took Kenma’s wrists and moved their arms in the motion of a swing. Kenma chuckled as he pulled his hands free to open the small box.  
  
“I’m sorry to disap…” Kenma’s snark trailed off as he looked down into the box. A small red collar, with a bell and silver tag sat within. He stared at it with wide eyes for a long moment before looking back to Kuroo’s smiling face.  
  
Kuroo reached somewhere behind himself, out of sight. He gently lifted a black pet carrier into Kenma’s line of sight and a soft meow followed. “Merry Christmas, Kenma,” Kuroo said softly as he opened the door and motioned for Kenma to go ahead.  
  
Without a word, Kenma carefully reached in and lifted the small white kitten out of the carrier. As it was set in Kenma’s lap, it stretched languidly before kneading at Kenma’s thigh. The tiny pricks of it’s claws sent warmth tingling through Kenma as he gently ran his hand from the kitten’s head all the way to it’s tail. It meowed softly before headbutting Kenma’s knuckles and Kenma couldn’t stop his smile.  
  
“Kuroo, I don’t even know what to say…” Kenma said as the kitten curls up on his knees.  
  
“How about, what is his name?” Kuroo suggested, watching the interaction with fondness.  
  
Kenma took the small collar from the box to read the tag, “Kouki.” He felt Kuroo’s grin against his neck.  
  
“Light, Happiness, Brightness,” Kuroo explained, connecting the dots that Kenma was already drawing out, “I know that at times, it is difficult to see our light. But it won’t be difficult to see him, he’s pretty bright after all. I thought it was about time, we add a little more happiness to the equation.”

“I love him, Kuroo,” Kenma said before turning and burrowing his face in Kuroo’s neck, “I love you too.” Kuroo’s arms came up to wrap around him and they sat curled together like that until Kouki meowed for Kenma to resume his petting. They both chuckled at the call for attention and Kenma remembered his last gift.  
  
Without a word, he reached for the candy shaped package and handed it to Kuroo, watching his eyes light up. “I still think this is a baseball bat,” Kuroo muttered as he opened the paper and popped the top off the end.  
  
“Whatever you think,” Kenma murmured self-consciously, now holding the kitten up until they were face to face. Kouki yawned widely and Kenma grinned, trying to ignore the nervous feelings rising to the surface.  
  
There was the sound of stiff cloth unrolling and then silence. Kenma kept his eyes on Kouki, who now pawed at Kenma’s nose and chin, batting at his fringe. The silence stretched on until Kenma couldn’t take it anymore and glanced to look at Kuroo’s reaction.  
  
A sharp feeling of fear stabbed through him when he found Kuroo holding the canvas up with one hand and the other covering his eyes; tears leaking from beneath his hand and rolling down his cheeks. Kuroo’s shoulders shook as he tried to steady his breathing even though a sob still escaped. “You hate it, I’m sorry it was stupid,” Kenma tried to say, his heart beating painfully in his chest.

Kuroo shook his head, lips mouthing words that didn’t quite catch sound before he was moving the canvas aside and pulling Kenma close. Tears soaked through the shoulder of Kenma’s shirt, as he held Kouki close with one hand and reaching to hug around Kuroo’s neck with the other. “I love it so much, Kenma,” Kuroo sobbed, fingers digging into Kenma’s back firmly, trying to keep them as close as possible.

There were long minutes that stretched on as Kuroo brought himself back, accepting Kenma’s comfort and laughing when Kouki smacked at his chest with a single determined paw. He leaned back to look Kenma in the eyes before leaning forward and pressing their lips into a gentle kiss, much to the displeased meow from Kouki.

“When did you find time to make this?” Kuroo asked softly when he pulled away, leaving Kenma with warmth flushing through him all over again.

He looked at the canvas that lay beside them, covered in reds and oranges and blues and greens to create an artist approach to the periodic table. “I let myself fall apart and left you to take care of everything by yourself,” Kenma said carefully, “You supported me while I failed to support you.” The arm around his waist tightened, “I wanted to support you. After all, every chemist needs a periodic table.”

“Kenma, you know that I love you and that I’ll take care of you when you need it,” Kuroo said before Kenma cut him off.

“I know, and I love you enough that I’m at least going to make every effort to make it easier on you,” Kenma said softly, “I never want you hurt you by falling apart. Even if it’s unavoidable sometimes, I want to help as much as I can.”  
  
He leaned forward to cuddle up against Kuroo again, “Thank you for saving me.”

Kuroo sighed gently as he held him, “Thank you for loving me.”

They held each other until Kuroo felt Kenma’s breathing even out. His smiled softly, placing a kiss on his forehead before moving to take him to bed. Kouki followed them, jumping up onto the futon and curling up beside Kenma’s head. Kuroo chuckled as he went back to the living room.

After he had cleaned up the trash and moved their gifts into their bedroom, Kuroo placed his Santa gifts under the tree before heading to bed himself knowing that come morning, Kenma will have placed his own Santa gifts there too.


End file.
